Being myself | Diary

Hi,
Hope you all had a wonderful day. Today I really wish I could go to work and complain about that not being home with terrible cold. So lots of tea with honey and lemon, garlic, warm blanket and all four Pirates of Caribbean movies. And I didn’t felt like writing my normal type blog posts. So here is my most personal blog post.

Recently all media has been buzzing about self-confidence and staying true to oneself. Just look at Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and even Taylor Swift and her girlfriends. #squadgoals

BE-YOU-LOGO

Bullies

My first expierience with bullies was in 5th or 6th grade. It started as simple teasing from few people and very fast became unbearaable insults from almoust all class. That was 20 something people. For a long I dind’t told to anyone. Not to parents or teachers. I just bottled it up and from time to time made a mega cry out (yes, it was  thing).

So how did I handled it? I told my mom. At the time it was the hardest thing to do (and it is still now. To tell mom that I am failing at something. I can easily handle it myself but actually tell someone is so heartbreaking). I was a good child with good grades so I was permission from my mom to skip school now and then. A time for myself. To put all the insecurities and sometimes anger into something positive or creative. That is how found my best friend at the time. We had some same interests and lot different interests. All the time we spent together was really fun and I felt happy.

With passing time I stopped to contact with my classmates in general. I now not the bes option but it worked for me and even in this day I don’t feel like I lost something important there. I ignored them and with time they just stopped insulting me and kind of ignored me to. With some of the bullies from that time I have pretty good relationships right now and with rest I haven’t had any kind of contact.

There was bullying, there is bullying and there will be bullying. That is the naked truth. You just have to find the best way for you to fight it. Not to be blind or ignorant when you se bullying. In my eyes that is worse than be a bully.

Photo from http://www.picturequotes.com

Photo from http://www.picturequotes.com

Being shy

I have always been the shy one. And bullying didn’t help to overcome it. I didn’t like to be in a centre of attention especially in a classroom. So presentations or even reading out load was a big no no for me. But I managed to do all that because I wanted to graduate and get away from all that. At least I knew my presentations and projects were done well and accurate. Back than I put a lot effort to make them good so my shyness in being front of people wouldn’t be so big (and to show that I know topic very well and there is no need for questions).

In University I had to make a lot of presentations for a lot bigger group of people. I still used the same technique and did a lot of research for each topic to feel prepared. Every time I felt more and more prepared I started to appreciate questions not to avoid them. Because it meant my presentation was interesting and made someone think. Now I like to be in front of a crowd and I feel confident.

But my shyness always comes out when I meet new people. I guess some things will never change.

Photo from http://www.inspiringquotes.org/

Being myself

Going through bullying and being shy is a big part what made me to a person that I am today. If I still would the same shy person from my school days I would be writing a blog with my name and face for all the world to see and judge. I like a lot of thing, I like to try a lot of new things and I like to write about it all. So frome there are the diary part from my blog name.

There are a lot of things about me that I don’t like and I am working hard to improve myself. Don’t get me wrong I love and respect myself. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have to be the best person I can be.

What is your experience with bullies? And what is that thing that makes you?

xo, A

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*This post is a part of TreacleMoon and BulliesOut #BeYou campaign. I am not being paid to make this post. All opinions are mine.

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